Solutions For Fire-Gone-Wrong
In my recent post Personality Flaws of the Four Elements I described ways the 4 Elements can go wrong, each according to its own nature.
How To Know If Fire Is Burning You Up
When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Fire is at best a blunt instrument and when abused it becomes destructive quickly. Your Fire has gone wrong when:
- You frequently feel angry, destructive, or aggressive.
- You always need to have the last word.
- Your friends say you habitually squash other people’s self-confidence by dominating them.
- Some say your ways of being make you feel big and others feel small.
- You feel restless and can’t settle down into a job or relationship.
Solution One: Balance Fire With The Other 3 Elements
If your Fire is distorted, the other elements can help restore balance. Some say that anger is a disguise for grief, and for a Fiery individual this can be very true. Are you masking sadness with your Fiery display? Take off the armor, sink into your Watery side and let yourself feel sad. But leave the battle zone first.
Air can also lend a useful perspective. Draw on your Airy side to access your inner Observer, that part of you that can get healthy distance from yourself. Step outside your anger and use logic instead. Debate with yourself before arguing with others.
Earth reminds Fire that dominating others is impractical, because it impedes the very leadership you’re trying to create. Why would people want to follow someone who blows up easily and loses self-control? Earth says, have self-discipline and show them that you take practical action on your promises.
Solution Two: Emphasize Healthy Fire
If you emphasize healthy Fire and fill your life with positive expressions of Fire, there will be no room for unhealthy Fire. This elegant solution gently allows negative Fire traits to fall away as a side-effect of your emphasis on positive Fire. You might call this solution “Fire-Fu.” Here are some examples:
- Have a regular athletic routine that allows you to “blow off steam.” Then you don’t explode unexpectedly.
- Encourage mental self-talk that builds your confidence, instead of undermining it. Then you don’t need to dominate others to get your way or express your needs.
- Enjoy healthy competition with strong people you respect. Then you’ll find the patience you need to get you through the times when you have to tread delicately with people you wouldn’t choose, but have to relate with.
- Assert yourself early and often, so you don’t build up a head of steam and blow.
- Examine the beliefs that make up your philosophy of life—create a world-view that expands (not contracts) you.
See the next post in this thread: Has Earth Grounded You–Permanently?