Mars is still retrograde, i.e. moving backward in the sky.  Because this is a time when the hero is called forth in all of us, I’m telling stories of heroes from Greek and Roman mythology as examples of heroic virtues.  Today’s virtue is resourcefulness, the ability to face obstacles cleverly and to sometimes overcome them by evading them.  The most resourceful and smart hero of Greek and Roman mythology is undoubtedly Odysseus (also called Ulysses).

Legends of Odysseus:  The Odyssey
Odysseus had finished up with some wars that were happening far from home and the Odyssey tells the story of the many adventures he encountered on his return to his loving and devoted wife, Penelope.  On the journey, he faced many obstacles, some of which required strength in battle, but many of which required cleverness, resourcefulness, wisdom and a pure heart.

Here’s one example:  Odysseus and some of his sailors entered a cave that contained some goat-pens.  It turned out the goatherd was the Cyclops, a terrifying giant with one eye in the center of his head.  It also turned out that the sailors found themselves trapped inside the cave, blocked by a boulder only the Cyclops could move.  It was no use killing the Cyclops, because only he could move the boulder.  So instead, Odysseus sharpened a pole and poked the giant’s eye out with it.  As the Cyclops fumbled around for his enemies, and moved the boulder to find out if they’d escaped, Odysseus and his men escaped by clinging to the undersides of some of the goats.

In another example, Odysseus managed to sail past the Sirens.  The Sirens were beautiful nymphs whose singing was so beguiling that they could tempt sailors to crash on the rocks for love of them.  Odysseus stopped up the ears of his crew with wax so they could not hear the Sirens’ song.  For himself, he wanted to hear it, but didn’t want to be a danger to himself or his crew, so he had them tie him to the mast and instructed them not to release him, no matter how he begged or threatened them (which of course he did).  In this way he was able to hear the Sirens while his men sailed safely past them.

Penelope herself was a fit match for her clever husband.  During the many years it took him to return home, many suiters came to press her to remarry, because surely Odysseus was dead.  Her response was: “Sure, as soon as I finish this burial shroud.”  Every day she worked on the shroud and every night, when no one was looking, she unraveled all she had woven.  In this way she fended off the pressure to remarry and was waiting faithfully for Odysseus when he came home.  Odysseus deserved such a wife because at the beginning of his journey a goddess had told him it would be very hard and offered him herself instead of Penelope.  But Odysseus knew that the love of a true, mortal wife is worth more than the whim of a goddess and he chose the journey with all its hardship.

Heroic Virtue #3:  Resourcefulness
Sometimes a battle is best won not by brute strength or by any kind of force at all.  Sometimes it’s about taking the right approach.  An obstacle is an obstacle and you always have the choice about whether to push through it or to find a way around it.  A clever hero looks for many ways to solve a problem and selects the one that leaves him fit to fight another day.

What Mars is Asking of You
During this Mars retrograde period, Mars wants to know:
Have you been fighting too hard?
Have you tried force when cleverness might win you the battle?
Is there a resource you’ve forgotten about?

Next:  Alliance—Castor & Pollux

Other articles in this thread:
Mars Retrograde:  The Hero’s Journey
Hercules, Hero of Strength
Achilles, Hero of Courage

Mars is still retrograde, i.e. moving backward in the sky.  Because this is a time when the hero is called forth in all of us, I’m telling stories of heroes from Greek and Roman mythology as examples of heroic virtues.  Today’s virtue is courage, the ability to face the enemy with a strong mind as well as a strong body.  The best example of that is valiant Achilles, hero of the Trojan war.

Legends of Achilles
Achilles, central character in the Iliad, was one of the best-known heroes in Greco-Roman mythology.  He was considered to be the paragon of manly valor and gorgeousness.  For Achilles, courage was based in fearlessness, because his whole body was literally invulnerable, except for one small part—his heel.  Yet he is known to us mainly by that vulnerability.  In modern-day, we speak of an ‘Achilles heel’ as a person’s chief, or only, weakness.

And how exactly did he come to have an ‘Achilles heel?’  According to the mythology, Achilles was the child of a mortal man and an immortal sea-nymph.  When he was an infant, his mother foresaw his death and gave him invulnerability by dipping him in the river Styx.  The Styx was the river that the dead must cross to get to the underworld.  In bathing the child in the river of the dead, she was giving him an early experience of death and rendering him, if not immortal, at least invulnerable.  But she held him by one heel and so that was the only part of him that never touched the underworld’s waters.  It thus became his only weakness.

Heroic Virtue #2:  Courage
Not much of a weakness for battle purposes, you might think, as perhaps his mother did.  Who would think to shoot Achilles in the heel?  Yet someone did, with a poisoned arrow, and that’s how he finally perished.  But on the way to that death he performed incredible feats of courage, which were bolstered by the kind of fearlessness that comes from repeated experiences of surviving when others around you are falling.  So Achilles stands for courage, because he fought bravely, without giving in to fear.

What Mars is Asking of You
During this Mars retrograde period, Mars wants to know:
Where have you forgotten to have courage?  Have you been listening to your fearful inner voices instead of your encouraging ones?
Are you focusing on your weakness (the heel) instead of your strength?
Have you been whining and complaining, when you could put your complaints aside and meet the obstacle more bravely?

Next:  Resourceful Odysseus

Right now, Mars is retrograde, which means it is moving backward in the sky.  Because this is a time when the hero is called forth in all of us, I’m telling stories of heroes from Greek and Roman mythology as examples of heroic virtues.  Today’s virtue is the most basic one Mars has to offer: physical force and pure strength.  And nobody is a better example of it than Hercules.

Legends of Hercules
Hercules was known as the greatest of legendary heroes due to his enormous strength.  He was your typical “big and stupid” kind of guy: he carried a club and once he even held the whole sky on his shoulders.

The best-loved tales of Hercules involve his Twelve Labors.  These started out as Ten Labors, but inflation set in because the king he was laboring for got nervous of the Herculean prowess and claimed that two of the labors “didn’t count.”  So Herc had to do two additional in order to stave off the anger of Juno, the goddess who was the original source of the demand.  Juno disliked Hercules because he was the illegitimate offspring of her hubby, Jupiter (who really got around).  Yeah, apparently old Mount Olympus was a real soap opera.

Hercules’ exploits included:
•    Slaying the Nemean Lion, a fierce creature that was terrorizing the countryside.  Herc slew it and wore its pelt as a snazzy outfit.  Otherwise he was not known for his fashion sense.
•    Cleaning the Augean stables, which were occupied by a herd of 3,000 oxen.  This had to be one of nastiest cleaning jobs ever required in mythology, because the stables had not been cleaned for 30 years.  Hercules diverted a river through the stables, wiping them sparkly in one swoop.
•    Slaying the giant Antaeus, who was a mighty wrestler.  Because he was the son of Terra, the Earth, each time he fell he rose up stronger than before.  Hercules defeated Antaeus by holding him up in the air and strangling him.

Upon Hercules’ death, Jupiter made him immortal, declaring that only the vestiges of his mortal heritage were burned away on his funeral pyre, leaving his immortal being to take his place among the gods on Olympus.  Juno decided Herc was here to stay and forgave him his illegitimacy.

Heroic Virtue #1:  Strength
Hercules was obviously a force to be reckoned with.  The tales of his many doings focus not on wit, intelligence or strategy, but on pure physical strength, brute force and the ability to assert himself and overcome.

What Mars is Asking of You
Strength and force are the most basic abilities Mars has to offer.  A Mars retrograde period is a time to look at your life and ask “Where do I need to use more force?  Where have I gotten weak?  Am I a pansy?  A 98-pound weaking?  Where could I use a burst of testosterone or a shot of adrenaline?  Where have I forgotten to assert myself—or maybe never learned to assert myself in the first place?”

A Mars retrograde period is a time of feeling pressure to draw that line in the sand.  It is marked by anger, irritation, annoyance and bursts of ancient, stuck ferocity trying to get out.

Modern people are uncomfortable with this rough-and-ready god.  Mars was not polite, nor was he cautious.  He was a man’s man and sometimes we need a dose of that.  It’s good to know he’s in your corner.  So if, during this Mars retrograde period you find places in which you have not been defending or asserting yourself sufficiently, call on Mars.  He is always there inside your fierce heart when you need him.

Next:  Achilles, Courageous Hero

I’m writing to you from the beaches of Kaua’i, possibly the most beautiful of the Hawaiian islands.  Now that I’m here I realize my plan of continuing to post to my blog was the product of an insane, city-dwelling mind and that there’s no way it’s going to happen.  I’ve gone troppo.  I’ll be here for another week and will be making no blogposts, no newsletter, no Twitterfeed until the stars guide me home.

mahalo,

Jamie

Details About This Eclipse

Date: January 14, 2010
Time of eclipse: 11:11 PM PST
Type: annular (weak in intensity)
Visible in: People in Africa, India, Sri Lanka and southeast Asia will see this partial eclipse. At: 25 degrees Capricorn
Shadow Agent: Venus in Capricorn

Does It Affect You Personally?

If your birthday is on any of the following dates, you most likely experienced this eclipse:
January 10-20
April 10-20
July 13-23
October 13-23

Remember, not every eclipse touches everyone, but when it does, it’s usually noticeable.  A solar eclipse is likely to be marked by an external, real-world event (unlike a lunar eclipse, which is mostly experienced internally).  The following script is just one possible way it could go.

You hear a knock at the door.  You answer it.  Venus is there:  she’s an attractive, trim and serious-looking woman in a business suit.
Venus:  Hi, I’m your business coach.
You:  I don’t remember hiring one of those.
Venus:  I come with the package.
You:  What package?
Venus:  The package called “Your Life.”  Freebie.
She sashays past you and into your living room.
Venus:  Where’s your desk?
You:  At work of course.
Venus waves her hand and suddenly you are at your workplace.  She shimmers into existence and tugs her suit jacket down, just like Captain Picard.  She looks so official you decide to pay attention.
Venus:  Ok, time for a drill.  Hup-two-three-four!
You:  What am I supposed to be doing?
Venus:  Working on your relationships.  Your business ones, to be precise.
You:  Why would I want to do that?
Venus:  Because without relationship, you cannot advance in your career.  Tell me about your promises and agreements. How good are you at keeping them?
You:  Oh, pretty good, I guess.
Venus:  Pretty good?  You think that’s enough?
You:  Well, I never really thought about it.  
Venus:  And that would be the problem, wouldn’t it?
She produces a very long document, which drags on the floor as she reads it.
Venus:  I have here a list of all the promises you’ve ever made.  Do you know how many you’ve broken?
You:  Um. . .
Venus:  How do you expect people to take you seriously if you can’t take yourself seriously?  Become a person of substance!
She smacks you on the back.  You stagger a little.
Venus:  Integrity, my dear!  Your career depends on it.  You want people to take you at your word, right?  You want them to take you seriously, right?  You are an adult, aren’t you?
Each question brings her closer to you until she is literally breathing down your neck.  She removes a monocle from her pocket and scrutinizes you closely.  This is an uncomfortable process.
Venus:  Mind your P’s and Q’s!  I’m watching you.
And with that she stalks out.

Today is a Pivotal Day
When a planet turns retrograde it makes a pivot in the sky and also creates a metaphorically “pivotal” experience for human beings.

Today, that planet is Saturn.  It’s as if Saturn is telling us, “You can’t go on avoiding responsibility forever.  Today I’m delivering a wake-up call.”  If Saturn is touching a planet in your chart this year, this message is for you and it will have very specific meaning, depending on what planet that is.  That planet, and the part of you it represents, is being asked to take responsibility.  Today is the peak of possibility of Saturn’s wake-up call, but it could happen anytime within 5 days surrounding today.

Initiation Leading to an Inner Journey
Sometime between now and the beginning of last October Saturn showed us an area of life in which we need to take more responsibility.  What he delivered was an initiation and it was our first chance to catch a clue about the changes coming.  That clue may have been obvious or it may have been subtle, but we’ve been shown a place in our life that would benefit from sustained hard work and a more serious attitude.

Did we notice?  It’s human to go into denial after a clue is delivered.  During the autumn we may have said to ourselves, “Maybe I don’t have to do anything about this.  Maybe it was just a one-time thing.  Maybe I can just move on.  Maybe I can get away without paying attention to this.”

Or maybe not.  Today Saturn turns up the volume and gives us a reminder.  “That responsibility you need to take?” he says, “You’d better figure it out and start doing it.”  This is a wake-up call.  Today, Saturn’s retrograde journey begins and with it begins our journey inward to discover what responsibility we need to take and how it will benefit us to do so.  Saturn’s retrograde journey lasts until the day it turns direct, which is May 30, 2010.

Where must we take responsibility?
The sign Saturn begins its backwards journey in matters, as well as the sign it moves backward into.  Saturn has been in Virgo for the last 2¼  years.  In 2010 it moves forward into Libra.  Its retrograde journey takes it back into Virgo for a few brief months before making the commitment to forward motion into Libra.

Virgo represents the phase of life in which we become a full adult.  In Virgo we assume adult status, enter the workforce and groom ourselves for life as a grown-up.  Libra, falling next in zodiacal order, represents relationship.  In Libra occurs the encounter with the Other, the Beloved.  In Libra we meet our match.

But before we move on to the domain of relationships, Saturn is telling us we need to get our house in order as individuals.  He tells us this by moving back into Virgo for a brief time before then moving forward into Libra.  This will be a period of grooming, cleaning, perfecting.  If you have organized things and structured your health or personal habits over the last 2 years, this is your last chance to complete that process before Saturn shifts out of Virgo’s perfection realm into Libra’s relating realm.  Virgo is a period of preparation to meet the Beloved, a period of finding oneself before entering into relationship with another in Libra.  It is that last moment you spend in front of the mirror before leaving the house.  “Is everything in order?” Saturn wants to know.  The next few months are your last chance (for many years to come) to make it so.

Is this story your story?
If this resonates for you, it may be that you are personally touched by this transit.  Saturn may be triggering a planet in your own chart, thus bringing these themes up for you.  This year Saturn is covering the space between 27 degrees Virgo and 4 degrees Libra.  If there is anything in your chart in 27, 28 or 29 degrees of Virgo, Gemini, Sagittarius or Pisces, you will feel this.  Also if you have anything in 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 degrees of Libra, Capricorn, Aries or Cancer, you will feel this.  And knowing it can explain feelings you may be having of guilt, seriousness, obligation, duty or feeling trapped or limited.  Saturn may be trying to tell you something important, and if you listen, your discomfort will ease and a clear path to action can open up before you.

What area of your life is being affected?
Good question.  It will have to do with the planet in your chart that’s being triggered by Saturn.  If it’s Mercury, Saturn is asking you to sharpen, hone and focus your mind, so this could be the right time for studying hard.  If it’s Venus or Juno, Saturn is testing your relationships for strength and resilience.  If it’s Jupiter, your hope and faith are being tested.  But whatever it is, that feeling of heaviness, oppression, limitation and the pressure to take committed action are present.  That’s Saturn.  He’s nobody’s favorite planet, but because he lives in each of us, the job gets done.

Want to know more about how this Saturn transit affects your life?
Contact Jamie at pandora@pandoraastrology.com
to schedule a reading.

Venus has a full yearly cycle, which begins and ends when it conjuncts the Sun.  Today is the alpha and omega of that cycle.  Today, last year’s relationship journey ends and this year’s begins.  Venus will proceed direct (i.e. forward) until October 8, when it will move retrograde (i.e. backwards) again for six weeks, sending us all on another deep journey into the heart of relationship.  At that time I’ll write a post on another myth about love’s darkness, that of Eros and Psyche.  This is one of my all-time favorite myths.  I’m looking forward to it already and hope you are too.

In the meanwhile, one relationship journey has ended; another begins.  This does not mean relationships have to end.  Quite the contrary—now is a time of fresh starts and there is a sense of newness, a scent of spring about it.  The testing time is long past.  Love has been reborn.  Now is a great time to fall in love with those you care about, all over again.

I want you to know that I LOVE the many opportunities I have had to touch people’s lives through astrology in 2009.  I have had more sessions than ever before, with more interesting, growing, exciting people than ever before.  I have had a lot of requests to join my newsletter list and am very excited at how this ongoing conversation about how we humans can take charge of and change our lives using astrology as a power tool is expanding.

To mark my excitement, I am recommitting to this blog.  In 2010 I will continue writing timely, relevant posts designed to help you apply astrology’s wisdom to your real, actual life.  I write to you, my intelligent, motivated audience.  To remind us both who you are and what our relationship is, I am reposting one of my very first posts, called “I And Thou” in which I wrote our relationship into being.  I hope you are as inspired by it as I am by you.

Here is what I said to you on April 3, 2007.  After blogging for 2 and 3/4 years, it is even more true today.

*     *     *     *     *

“If you hallow this life, you meet the living God.” -Martin Buber, I and Thou

The Necessity of Imagining an Audience
Every writer needs an audience. That audience is of necessity a fabrication, at least at first. It is invented out of pure imagination. In “inventing” you, I am adding you to my waking dream.

I am setting a high bar for myself. I know you are intelligent, discriminating and thoughtful. I know you are practical and desire more active participation in your own life. I need a reader just like you. I become a better person just thinking about you and the vast worlds we have to talk about together.

Here and now I get the opportunity to determine what you are like, but I also know that if I am to hold your attention I must remember that you have a reality beyond my imagining. So I choose to see you as a real person of stature and solidity, a person who is my equal (a Thou to my I) and a person who is capable of surprising me in a way a fiction can never be capable of. I have put out the shoes. If they fit, step into them.

You are adding me as a character in your dream by reading this and volunteering yourself for the relationship with your attention. You will self-select in or out of being here according to your needs. I trust you to do that.

Now that you’re here, please—pull up a chair. Join me here, at the fire.

Fireside Chat: Can I Be Frank With You?
I speak to you as to someone who understands, someone who “gets it.” We share certain values. You are spiritual but grounded. You have one foot in this world, one in a very different world. You are a spirit and a body and very interested in both. You are smart, subtle, psychological, metaphysical, but also motivated and driven. You are going somewhere in life (as I am) and don’t have patience or time for beating around the bush. You appreciate practical approaches to metaphysical matters. You’ll reach for whatever will help you move forward but if I am too woo-woo or new-agey you will get bored. I know that you are choosy and that I need to stay interesting or I will lose you. I respect that. It is a sense of discrimination I share.

Here, in this conversation, which is just between you and me, the medium is the message. Sometimes I will speak sharply; sometimes with infinite gentleness. It is my job to remind both of us again and again that life is marching on and each moment is too important to waste.

I keep to the realm of the universal, the classic. I talk about small, subtle experiences and large, general ideas. Things that pertain to you when you see how they apply to your life. All of it is useful. You find more here than you can use at one time, so you come back later to absorb the parts you couldn’t take in before. You are learning astrology despite yourself. Perhaps you came because you know some astrology and you want to learn more and you stayed because I’ve shown you new ways of thinking about it. You will never be the same.

I have very little use for knee-jerk negativity and “helpful criticism.” For this reason, I am letting you know now that I won’t have interest in comments that are critical but suggest no helpful change. But I am deeply interested in comments that add value to this conversation. In my view, you are an excellent person with much to say and useful experience to draw on. If you dilute that respect by speaking drivel it will be a loss for both of us. Mother used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I would say, “if you can’t say anything useful, wait to speak until you can.” Please don’t waste my time. I promise not to waste yours.

Hello, Thou. Who Are You?
You are adventuresome, growing, not judgmental, leveling, able to hold what I say gently in your mind. Your mind is open and curious. You are willing to consider any idea that might help you in your life.

You are an experimental person. This is because you’ve come to realize that there are no test runs in life, so your life is one big laboratory and you like to try things in it. You’ve had enough life-experience to trust your own assessment of the workability of ideas. You’re willing to grow-as-you-go.

You are a self-aware person. You notice your impact on others and your impact on life. This too enables you to experiment. When your experiments drive others away from you, you notice and perhaps change course. But you’re brave enough not to change course even if others are uncomfortable, in the times when you are sure you’re on the right track.

You have an idea where you are going, maybe sometimes only a general idea, but most importantly, you’ve got some kind of intuitive mechanism that lets you know when you are on-track, and when you are off. You pay attention to that. This gives you freedom to explore because you know that when you get off-track, you will eventually restore your course.

You are in the prime of your life but perhaps you don’t know it, because sometimes you’d rather be somewhere else. You have much more power than you’re using. You are at a nexus, a crossroads, a fork in the path. What you choose now will affect the whole future. New paths will open up, existing ones will close. There is no time but now for you to create the life you really want to live, to carve it out of the block before you. You are looking for what will help uncover the meaning of your life. What I’m writing will help you. At times it is exactly what you need. You are happy to have found me. I am grateful to have found you. We now have each other.

You look at your life differently because of what I have said. You are someone willing to do that. You are willing to change your whole life now, today, because of something that happened this moment. You are open to wild insight and willing to suspend disbelief long enough to entertain crazy ideas. You are willing to rearrange your brain. You are not stuck in ideas. You are also not stuck in a rigid “flexibility,” an ungrounded state that cannot find anchor or center and cleaves to nothing. You know your center when you’ve found it. For this reason, I can speak strongly to you. Thank you for that.

Thank you for listening; I see you are on the edge of your seat. That’s good because it’s your life we’re talking about here. Even when you are skeptical or the subject doesn’t grip you, you read to the end anyway, because you’ve learned to trust me. You know it will be just for you again very soon and you are watching eagerly for that moment.

What I Plan To Do With Your Attention
The conversation has already been going on. Somehow we entered in the middle of it. Our relationship? We are human beings. Sometimes we are up off the planet observing phenomena in ourselves, each other, other humans, the world; sometimes we are down in the thick of it, immersed in our lives, our points of view, our perspectives. Sometimes taking strong positions, sometimes not so much. We immerse ourselves, then pan out and look at the big picture. We are always deriving value from the comparison between the subjective and the objective.

I tell the truth and tell it often: on myself, on you, on others, on life. You respect me enough to hear it and to select what you need to hear from among the things I say. Sensibly, you discard the rest. You give me the infinite gift of changing your life because of what I’ve said here. I galvanize you; you allow yourself to be galvanized.

I respect you, I know your strength and I’m standing for it. I won’t tolerate you being a wimp. In speaking to you this way I am saying “I know you are already conscious, although sometimes you look asleep. Look at your life and take charge of it. It’s yours—no one else’s.”

Now I see others have joined us here at the fire. That’s ok—they can listen. This is still just between you and me, but if others benefit from it, that is very, very good.

Look at the fire. That fire is the urgency we feel: life is being lived now, here, whether we are paying attention or not! The dancing flame is never the same twice: in every moment comes another chance to change it all. In every moment comes another chance to leap in and shape this life according to our joy. To do that we need to give up resentment and discontent, accept how things are and then find the hope to move.

If you are still reading, then you belong here. You and I are connected, as we always were, as we always will be. This ever-existent connection has lain dormant in the back of our consciousness, waiting to be born in this moment, when you showed up and read to the end of the entry. And this, dear reader, is the beginning of our relationship.

This lunar eclipse brings strong emotions and nostalgia to pressure as the sensitive Moon in Cancer is pitted against the tough-minded Sun in Capricorn.  Saturn and Pluto act as Shadow Agents, bringing in themes of integrity and intensity.

Details About This Eclipse

Date:  December 31, 2009
Time of eclipse: 11:13 AM PST
Type: partial (weak in intensity)
Visible in: People in Asia, Australasia, Europe and Africa will see this small sliver of an eclipse.
At: 10 degrees Cancer
Shadow Agents: Pluto in Capricorn, Saturn in Libra

Does It Affect You Personally?

If your birthday is on any of the following dates, you most likely experienced this eclipse:
December 26-January 5
March 25-April 5
June 27-July 7
September 28-October 8

Remember, not every eclipse touches everyone, but when it does, it’s usually noticeable.  A lunar eclipse is likely to bring up strong emotions.  The following script is just one possible way it could go.

You hear a knock at the door.  You answer it.  Saturn is there:  he’s a serious-looking older man in a dark business suit, wearing a power tie.  Next to him is Pluto, the Alchemist, in a long black robe spattered with various chemicals.  Pluto is carrying a large pot.  Something seems odd about that pot, but before you can argue, both of them sweep past you and head for . . . your kitchen??
You:  wha?
Saturn:  Sit down.  Shut up.  Do as you’re told.
You:  But this is MY house!
Pluto:  You’re not in charge here.
Saturn pushes you into a chair and actually ties you to it while Pluto gets busy at the stove.  Once Saturn has finished restraining you, you can begin to see what Pluto is doing.  He’s put the giant, black, cast-iron pot onto the stove, added a lot of some strange-smelling liquid and is turning the heat up.  Way up.  You notice it’s not so much a pot as it is a cauldron.
You:  You’re not going to hurt me, are you guys?  What did I do wrong?
Saturn:  Nothing.  This is just how we roll.
The pot is now boiling.  Pluto begins to walk around the house and grab particular items to put into the pot.
You:  Hey, that’s my favorite shirt!  I aced a job interview in that shirt!
Pluto:  Does it have sentimental value?  In it goes!
You:  Oh no, not that photograph—that’s the only memory I have of her!  Damnit, will you fiends stop?
Saturn:  Who are you really?  Have you thought about it?  Where’s your integrity?
You:  I don’t know what you mean.  You guys are just torturing me.  What gives you the right?
Saturn:  You are the amalgam of all things that have ever happened to you PLUS the essential ingredient.  The thing that makes you different from every other human being alive.
You:  What’s that?
Saturn:  What you did with what happened to you.  That one single driver inside you that decided what to do with all the things that happened.  Did you achieve or fail?  Did you love or hate?  Were you a whiner or were you heroic?  That moment of decision—how you act under pressure—is the crucial ingredient.
Saturn reaches into your chest and grabs your heart, pulling it out.  You have no idea why you’re still alive as he tosses it into the pot.  Pluto claps on the lid and seals it tightly.  Belatedly you realize it’s not an ordinary pot—it’s a pressure cooker.  As Pluto turns up the heat under the pot, the pressure increases until you think your heart will explode.  All the feelings, sensations and experiences you’ve ever had are suddenly compressed together with enormous force.  You realize there are few moments in which you made the heroic choice under pressure.  You want to die but find yourself alive anyway, and open your eyes.
Saturn:  You must change your life.
Pluto:  Got it?
You:  unh.
They pack up the pot and go.

Jupiter and Neptune are perched atop their favorite cloud, watching the world go by.
Jupiter:  Hey, Neptune, have you noticed that it’s a really jaded world out there?
Neptune:  I had in fact, noticed that.  Nobody seems to believe in anything anymore.
Jupiter:  Why do you think that is?
Neptune:  Actually, I think it’s your fault.  Advertising, your monster-child, has jaded them and they are so glutted with unfulfillable promises that they can no longer hear the siren song of true magic calling them.  MY siren song.
Jupiter:  Oh, I really don’t think I’m the only one to blame here.
Neptune:  No?
Jupiter:  Definitely not.  You, after all, are always trying to get people to believe in ridiculous, ungrounded, unprovable metaphysical principles.  People are tired of being psychologically overextended.  They want reality.
Neptune:  BUT they want reality to go their way.
Jupiter:  True.
Neptune:  Yet they’ve forgotten that being able to imagine the impossible, which is my gift—   (Neptune takes a little bow)
Jupiter: —and having enough hope to carry through the effort necessary to prevail despite the impossibility of the task, which is my specialty—  (Jupiter bows back with pretend gravity)
Both in unison: —is exactly how reality can be bent to human will!
They do a little dance, then collapse in laughter.
Jupiter:  Do you think anyone took notice?
Neptune:  Probably not.
Jupiter:  Maybe we’d better try another method.
Neptune:  Ok, what do you have in mind?
Jupiter:  I’m thinking of a Peter Pan moment.
Neptune:  I know exactly the one.  I’m with you.
Together they lean over the cloud and address themselves to all of humanity, in booming-god tones loud enough to be mistaken for a thunderclap.
Both in unison:  DO YOU BELIEVE IN FAIRIES, PEOPLE?  DO YOU?  If so, you’d BETTER START CLAPPING!  Because right now, this very moment, is the one in which you can choose to make a miracle.  IF, that is, you want one.  So there.
The two of them roll back onto the cloud and listen intently for a moment.  Then, just when they were about to give up, they hear it:  the clapping, coming from all over Earth, of people who believe in fairies and some other people who maybe don’t exactly believe in fairies but think it would be a better world if we had a few.  Neptune and Jupiter are filled with delight and dissolve into a fit of giggles.  With each giggle a fairy is born and flies off to do good in the world, for all the people who clapped, and even for a few who didn’t.

For more on this, see:
May’s Triple Conjunction of Neptune, Chiron & Jupiter
Jupiter Conjuncts Neptune: Let Your Dreams Run Wild