Solutions for Water-Gone-Wrong

In my recent post Personality Flaws of the Four Elements I described ways the 4 Elements can go wrong, each according to its own nature.

How To Know If You’re Drowning In Water
Water is arguably the hardest element to get right, because in the modern world our capacity to feel is misunderstood, derided and ignored.  Many of us grow up with a poor understanding of our emotions.  Your Water has gone wrong when:
•    People around you call you a “drama queen.”
•    Your sensitivity has you attempting to control everyone around you so you can feel better.
•    You overreact to events around you and cannot separate what actually happened from how you felt about it.
•    You absorb other people’s feelings so easily that you lose yourself.  This may make you prefer to avoid people which is a shame because your powers of empathy are enormous.
•    You are filled with bitterness, resentment and other feelings that have long gone unexpressed.  You habitually repress them because you don’t know how to let go of them.

Solution One:  Balance Water With The Other 4 Elements
If your Water is distorted, the other elements can help restore balance.  Fire’s self-assertion is a wonderful foil for Water’s tendency toward self-sacrifice.  When you’re lost in Watery feelings and can’t get out, try cutting straight through the bullshit.  Fire says, “Things are really not as complicated as they seem.”

You can count on Air to bring in logic, rationality and a factual approach.  Air helps you get out of the feelings and become more dispassionate—which can be very helpful when you realize you’ve become over-involved with somebody who is taking advantage of you.

Earth’s practical concerns form a helpful check-and-balance to Water’s subjectivity.  Earth reminds Water that overwhelming feelings must be balanced by the need to feed, clothe and shelter oneself and one’s family.  Water says, “I care about myself and others,” while Earth says “. . . and I prove it by making myself useful.”

Solution Two:  Emphasize Healthy Water
Expressing Water in a healthy way can allow negative expressions of Water to fall away naturally, with ease and grace.  You might call this “Water-Fu.”  Here are some ways to try it. . .

•    Notice your intuitions.  Validate them.  Use them.
•    Your feelings are there to connect you with other people.  Get good at noticing what others feel and what you feel.  Develop healthy emotional boundaries and enjoy deep relationships with those you feel sympathy or empathy towards.
•    Find or create places in your life where you can afford to feel fully, to express your feelings and to be as sensitive as you really are.  Hang around people you can be your true self with.
•    Practice healthy self-care, which is not the same as being emotionally armored nor emotionally over-exposed.  When you take care of yourself, others do not seem like a drain.
•    If you are preoccupied with negative feelings, learn to let go of them.  Focus on the positive, uplifting things in your life.  Nurse joy instead of anger.

The Four Elements are an incredibly rich vein of astrological knowledge of which this article series only scratches the surface.  Using the elements alone, even a novice can gain tremendous insight into herself and other people.  I hope it inspires you to learn more about the elements, about astrology and about yourself.

The Four Elements are a fascinating part of human temperament.
Find out about yours in a reading with Jamie.
Contact Jamie to learn how.

This has been part 5 of a 5-part series on the 4 elements.  The other parts can be found here:
Personality Flaws of the 4 Elements
Is Fire Burning You Up?
Has Earth Grounded You—Permanently?
Does Air Have You Lost In A Cloud?
Are You Drowning In Water?

Do you know why Cancer types are so lovable?  Emotional intelligence, that’s why.  And the root of emotional intelligence is soothing—self-soothing and the soothing of others.  This sensitive Water sign quickly learns that life is lived through a feeling-filter (it’s true even for those who claim to not be emotional).  Cancers become adept at connecting emotionally with human beings in general.  Here’s just some of the great stuff Cancers learn as they swim through life’s waters.

Cancers quickly learn to value love and the ability to love above being right or being strong.  They are not usually stoic people.  A Cancer would usually rather be connected to someone they love, even if that connection is painful, than be shut out.  Cancers are not usually interested in superiority or in dominating (unless they’ve got a Leo streak).  Loving, connecting and bonding and feeling-with are high on their value scale.

An emotionally intelligent Cancer is adept at sympathizing and empathizing with the emotions of others.  Cancers are naturally supportive and sympathetic, which gives them an edge when it comes to establishing rapport and connecting with others.  Being able to feel-with and feel-for others binds them to you.  Cancers are great bonders.

Cancer understands how important it is to know what you are feeling. One of the first and best pieces of knowledge that a smart Cancer learns is how to tell the difference between an emotion, an intuition and a mood.  An emotion is any feeling you have.  An intuition is a feeling you should pay attention to, even if you don’t know why you are having it, because it’s trying to guide you.  A mood is a passing feeling that you don’t want to act on, because such impulses lead to bad choices.  Smart Cancers know the difference.

Knowing the differences between kinds of emotions leads to knowing how to manage your own emotions.  When you know why you feel what you feel, then it’s easy to know what you should do about that (or not).  So, suppose you just met someone and you took an instant dislike to him.  Is that because there’s something creepy about him or is that because you’re in a sensitive mood or is it because he reminds you of somebody who was mean to you years ago?  Each situation calls for a different response and you need to know how to choose.

As a Cancer matures, she becomes able to channel emotions into life in ways that make a difference.  As soon as she’s comfortably situated, or at least oriented (and sometimes even before!) she looks around for things that need nurturing and she begins pouring love, care and thoughtfulness into those things.  And whether those things include babies, gardens, businesses, projects, people or pets, under the loving gentle rain of Cancerian care, they cannot help but blossom.

It’s not necessary to have your Sun, Moon or Rising in Cancer to develop intuitive ability.  Every human being alive has Cancerian emotional intelligence.  Cultivate yours and watch your world flower!

Cancers, how about a special birthday present?
Your birthday is your own personal New Year’s Day.
Having an astrology reading at this time can
deepen your self-understanding
and support your intuitive knowing in the coming year.
Contact Jamie at Pandora@pandoraastrology to schedule a reading
or put one on your wishlist.

Of the 3 water signs, one is Cardinal, one is Fixed and one is Mutable.  When a zodiac sign is Cardinal, that means it sends its elemental energy in a directed way.  If it’s Fixed, then it consolidates and contains its elemental energy while the Mutable signs disperse and diffuse their elemental energy.  What does this mean for the 3 water signs, Cancer (Cardinal), Scorpio (Fixed) and Pisces (Mutable)?  Looking at physical symbols for the water signs is an excellent way to understand them and their relationship to each other.

Cancer, The Mountain Spring
Cancer, the Cardinal Water sign is the first to appear in the zodiacal order.  It represents directed water.  This means moving water, symbolized by a mountain spring, born out of the earth, the freshest of waters and the Water sign with the most drive.  Cancer’s Cardinality carries fresh water to ecosystems that need it, nurturing and growing life.

Cancer combines Water’s fluidity with Cardinal motivation, drive and leadership.  Cancer is the water sign with energy and direction.  Cancer has focus in a way the other two do not.  Think of a busy mother (this is, after all, the mother archetype) involved in her energetic nesting activity or think of a fierce mama bear, defending her cubs.  Think of a mother duck, lining up her chicks and leading them to water for the first time.  This sign has force, motivation and purpose to it.

Scorpio, The Lake
Scorpio is the second Water sign and it’s Fixed.  Imagine that Cancer’s mountain spring has flowed downhill and gathered momentum until it’s become a rushing river.  Now imagine all the force of that river dammed into a lake and you have Scorpio.  Another way to think of Scorpio is to look at a glass of water.  It looks placid and still but actually, the contained liquid is exerting a tremendous amount of force on all sides of the glass.  If there’s a crack in the glass anywhere, the water will find it and press through.  That’s Scorpio.

Scorpio combines the fluidity of Water with Fixed strength, solidity and continuity.  Scorpio has amazing staying power, sometimes obsessively so—in fact, Scorpio has the capacity to use obsession and compulsion to its own advantage.  And Scorpio’s tremendous sensitivity, though often experienced as a problem, is actually an advantage because it is the root of Scorpio’s ability to find weaknesses in the enemy or in the problem that can be used to overcome it.

Pisces, The Vast Ocean
All waters eventually lead to the sea. Pisces, the Mutable Water sign, combines fluid Water with flexible, ever-changing Mutability.  Mutable Water is best symbolized by the vast oceans, filled with eddies, currents and tides.  The ocean is ever-changing and always moving, but never moving in a given direction.  In the ocean, change is the constant.  And so it is with Pisces.

Pisces is the only water sign that doesn’t need a shell to protect itself.  Cancer hides in its Crab shell while Scorpio hides behind a cool exterior (occasionally coming out to sting with its Scorpion tail), but Pisces can defend itself while remaining soft.  This is because Pisces is adept at shapeshifting and mimicry.  How can you attack something when you don’t know what it is?  Pisces meets confrontation indirectly (as do all the water signs) and preserves itself by slipperiness and evasion.  Pisces is the ultimate moving target.

Which of these do you resonate with most?  Are you an energetic, bubbling spring, flowing downhill, gathering force as you go?  Or are you a still-waters-run-deep lake, sensitive to all that touches your surface?  Or are you the huge, ever-shifting ocean—permeable and connected to everything, remaining soft and open to experience?

At the risk of giving Cancer men everywhere a big head, I say “Quite possibly yes.”  And here’s why.

•    Cancer-type men do not see women as weird, alien beings.  They see women as being similar to themselves and thus approach women as potential friends, not just possible sexual partners.
•    Cancer-type men have feelings, just like women!  They are the men most likely to develop emotional intelligence.  They may feel that they’ve had to, because feelings cannot be ignored.
•    Cancer-type men do not object to the ups and downs of a woman’s cycle.  In fact, Cancer men are the most likely of all the sign types to be able to talk with their women friends about menstruation without being condescending or put off.  Cancer men have a way of taking the female cycle as a simple fact of life, much as women do.
•    Cancer-type men have had female friends all along.  Does this make a lunar guy feel like an also-ran at times, as a more alpha male swoops in and steals his best (woman) friend whom he’s been secretly in love with for years?  Sure, that can happen.  Does the Cancer male resent having to hear about said friend’s troubles when she suffers at the hands of Alpha Guy?  Yup.  But is that same alpha man going to be able to maintain a longterm relationship with girlfriend?  Not easily, because he hasn’t spent many years of his life relating with her through thick and thin.  Cancer men are training for marriage and marriage is not for sissies.
•    Cancer-type men know how to comfort a woman.  They understand that sometimes a woman just wants to be listened to and to have her feelings out loud without having her listener try to fix her or the situation.

Note To Cancer Men:
Sure, women may take you for granted and may not always appreciate what you offer them everyday, day in and day out, fine weather or foul.  But after they’ve had a few bad experiences with jerks and losers, the smart ones will begin to see your value.  Also, standing up for yourself and drawing a line here and there wouldn’t hurt either!  Don’t let your women-friends run roughshod over you and use you just because you are inclined to be fond of them anyway.  Any woman who would do that is not worth your time, no matter how enchanting she is.

Note To Cancer Women:
Ladies, you are the unsung heroes of the world, with the tireless energy and unrelenting care you put into everything you touch.  Don’t forget to take a break periodically to put your feet up and be kind to yourself.  When’s the last time you had a massage (like a real, professional one)?  You deserve to have someone take care of you for a change—but to have that you’ll have to remember to let them.

Cancers, how about a special birthday present?
Your birthday is your own personal New Year’s Day.
Having an astrology reading at this time
can deepen your self-understanding
and support your intuitive knowing in the coming year.
Contact Jamie at pandora@pandoraastrology.com
to schedule a reading or put one on your wishlist.

Today’s post is in honor of the Sun’s passage through Cancer (ruled by the Moon) and all the Cancerians out there.  Here I’ll be describing why and how to nurture yourself according to your Moon.

If you don’t know what sign your Moon is in and you want to find out, you can order your own personal Astrology Chart Decoder.  This is a special tool I’ve invented that puts your chart’s details in English, instead of astrology symbols.  Your Decoder tells you where every planet in your chart is located:  the sign it’s in, the house it’s in and the exact degree it occupies.  Your Moon sign will be right at the top.

The Moon in a chart is connected with a person’s emotional life.  It is like the small, tender inner child in all of us, which is there inside even the most toughened adult.  If you want to re-parent yourself, you need look no farther than your Moon to find out what is needed to do that.  Your Moon Sign describes what you need to feel safe, secure and well taken-care-of.  It also tells you how to access your intuition and which bad, security-based behaviors to beware of.  What does this mean for you personally?

If You Have. . .

Moon in Aries
You need honesty and directness, both in yourself and from others you can trust. You need to be able to be your real self, without apology or pretense. You also need to be in touch with your gut, so right action is your path to intuition. Beware of acting too impulsively and then defending yourself with a fiery blast when others attempt to correct your course. Believe me, they have no idea how sensitive you are under the bluster.

Moon in Taurus
For you, emotional safety is linked to physical safety. Filling your bank account & your fridge goes a long way toward reducing anxiety but beware of using food or shopping for comfort. Your body is the key to your intuition, as long as you are eating right for your body type, not indulging in bad foods or purging with bad diets. Put good habits in place because you are likely to maintain (set & forget) them. Gardening & cooking soothe you.

Moon in Gemini
You love stimulation. You probably read in bed, to comfort yourself so you can sleep.  You have little tolerance for people who won’t talk with you and the “cold shoulder” affects you greatly. Watch out that your nervous energy may make you a chatterbox—sometimes you’ll need to slow down and just feel a thing without putting it into words.  Soothe your soul by keeping a journal, where your inner conversation can thrive.

Moon in Cancer
You are a very sensitive soul with a strong tendency to give nurturance & care to others.   Be careful not to drown them in affection and attention and also to avoid hidden contracts where you are giving in expectation of repayment in kind. Not everyone is as capable of giving endlessly as you are. If you’re unhappy with your childhood, become the parent  that you wish you’d had. Soothe your heart with frequent trips to large bodies of water.

Moon in Leo
Attention is the key to your soul. When others pay attention to you, your heart feels nurtured and fed, when you are ignored or not noticed, it cuts you deeply. Remember that your creativity is your own, not dependent on whether others see it or not. Your best intuitive compass is to follow things that make you expand and avoid things that make you contract. To soothe yourself, stare into a candle flame or a campfire.

Moon in Virgo
You have a deep sensitivity to order in your environment and it’s important for you to take charge and create order in all the ways that have meaning for you, instead of giving up and surrendering to entropy, which depresses you no end. Nothing satisfies you like a clean, fresh area, ready for use, so make that happen on a regular basis. Try not to impose your standards on others because they may not care about these things as you do.

Moon in Libra
Fairness is one of the most important things in your world and you can become quite paralyzed when you feel discriminated against. This being said, you must not wait for the world to deliver what you deserve—you must go out and get it. You’re a relater, so get into partnerships (business and personal) because your intuition is founded in how other people’s ideas make you feel. The feel of air moving across your skin is soothing.

Moon in Scorpio
It’s hard to imagine a more passionate or sensitive soul than you. Once a Moon in Scorpio person learns that gaining control of their circumstances can lead to a feeling of safety, they soon discover that no amount of control is enough. You’ll have to give it up, but be judicious about where you give up control and surround yourself with people you love and trust. As with Cancer & Pisces, make periodic visits to large bodies of water.

Moon in Sagittarius
The thing you need above all else is freedom and the room to expand.  Live in a home with high ceilings and lots of light and air.  Or live in a tiny, well-ordered place that you can carry with you, like a turtle.  This is my way of saying that travel soothes your soul, so get out into the world and explore it! Play early and often. Your adventurous soul needs scope, not rope, and tying you down creates a very sad & sorry Tigger.

Moon in Capricorn
What really makes you feel secure is to be recognized for your achievements, because you’re convinced, deep down, that nothing you do is ever enough. Other people sometimes need to beat compliments into you. Absorb praise, take it in and remember to create an inner praising voice loud enough to sometimes drown out the inner judging voice. When you need soothing, go sit with the most ancient tree you can find.

Moon in Aquarius
Friendship is the highest value you hold and so it may be hard to understand why sometimes people would want more from you than that. Go ahead & prize your intelligence, but don’t let it get in the way of connecting with others. Wear your geek badge as an attractant, not armor. Be warm and really connect with people emotionally, rather than intellectually, and this will give you the social contact your soul needs.

Moon in Pisces
Perhaps the most important need you have is for dreamtime:  meditation, visualization, prayer, whatever you call it, it means time to let your imagination run free. When you are feeling escapist, this is what you’re longing for. Set up ways to get it that don’t damage your body or your focus and you’ll be in good shape. Hang around people that feel right, because you are your moral compass. And remember to visit those large bodies of water.

Want to know more about the Moon in your chart
or the chart of someone you care for?
Contact Jamie at pandora@pandoraastrology.com
to schedule a reading.